I can hardly believe I am writing this but three years ago today I decided to launch something I had always wanted to start = a personal blog. That’s right! Today is Lucky Little Mustardseed’s blogiversary :) CrAzY!
It originally started out as a happiness project strictly for myself [I honestly didn’t think anyone was actually going to read it] but quickly morphed into a lifestyle diary where I shared more than just my individual thoughts. I began posting about the D.I.Y.’s I created, the food I made, the clothes I wore . . . even about me and my partner-in-crime D! I pretty much left no stone un-bloggable ;) which is both good and bad in a way. Last year on this date, I told you how my life was starting to feel blurry and that I had decided to only blog once a week. I THOUGHT quality over quantity was the brilliant answer to my feeling of being overwhelmed, but INSTEAD the blog has consumed my life EVEN MORE this year and that to me is ME not living up to my potential.
I have let the blog rule my life rather than allowing my life to dictate the blog and it’s all because of my thought process = each day it wasn’t about “what should I do today to achieve my ‘creative’ goals?” Quite the opposite! I was always concerned with “what am I going to be blogging about next week?” I was rarely in the present moment and ultimately would make myself sick with frustration from my racing mind. I am no where near accomplishing what I set out to do in 2015 and that’s why the blog needs to change [I need to change] and change is hard. There is no longer going to be a “blog” schedule in my monthly calendar and I really don’t know how often there will be new content here on my site. When I have something to share, I will post it. Simple as that.
Now I realize I might lose some of my “followers” in the process. I know it’s a possibility, but I’m oddly okay with it. I need to focus on what’s important in my life and I don’t want to be solely remembered as a blogger. I mean I love writing. I always have and probably always will, but I am a naturally-born artist. I’m meant to make awesomely, bright-colored sh*t and I’m not doing enough of it. I want to be in the same rankings of a Drawbertson, an Andy Warhol, a Herman Miller. I know in my heart I am more than capable of it and the only way I am ever going to find out is if I try and try very hard. I have an extremely difficult time staying focused and maybe that just goes hand-in-hand with having a creative mind, but the blog needs to take a backseat.
“Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up.” — Allen Klein
So yeah, when I originally took these photos for a new #stylecrazed blog post, I had an entirely different purpose in mind = to congratulate how much more I have come into my own this year, to celebrate this lifestyle blogger’s milestone, to share with you what I had planned for the year ahead – but this mood I’ve been in lately has really been bugging me and that’s probably why I had such writer’s block when I originally started this post. I’m not good at being fake. It’s just not who I am and what I originally wrote was a complete, utter lie. Yes, I do adore my little niche of a corner I’ve carved out here in the big, ole internet land, but it’s no longer enough. I have other territories I would rather conquer, so I hope you will stay tuned as this kooky adventure continues!