The Short of It

Please explain this to me:

What’s with this whole “ass-cheek-hanging-out-of-your-shorts” fashion?!



I hate shopping for shorts. It’s like trying on bras or swimsuits – absolutely no fun whatsoever. I have the same issue this time every year. First off, for whatever reason, warm weather outfits are not my strong suit. My entire life I’ve always had more Fall/Winter clothes, [What can I say? I rock at layers, people.] so every Spring/Summer, I stress and get truly pissed off about what to wear. I also prefer to make purchases online and shorts are near to impossible to get right without testing them out first [speaking from experience]. And to top it of, I’m gangly. I’m equipped with these long limps, so on me, shorts look, well, shorter. Factor in this current “bottom-booty-showing” style and I could easily look like an albino hobag; a look that doesn’t work on anybody ;) plus, how is it I’ve lived in in California for almost four years and I still struggle with an 85°+ wardrobe?! Anyway, with our upcoming trip to Hawaii planned, short shopping was a MUST. [Oy vey!] Luckily, my friend, Leslie [the wife of the couple we’re taking the trip with], was gracious enough to join me in my painful endeavor and helped me find over six different pairs of shorts! I could hardly believe it. I’m completely set.

“Eat my shorts! “ – Matt Groening

Now all I have to do is figure out the “top” situation . . . where’s a personal stylist when you need them?!

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